This Operation Is On A Mission From God
Hospital | FL, USA(My family usually has whole conversations by simply quoting movies. My cousin is rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery. This is the conversation between him, his mom, and...
View ArticleAlready Knows How The World Works
Home | SK, Canada(My sister is three years old. We are staying at my grandparents’ home with some of our relatives. My sister is playing dress-up with our cousins and is wearing a black outfit.)...
View ArticleDress-Up Is Not A Game
Home | Indonesia(I have an aunt who has two children, an eight-year-old boy and a six-year-old girl. The boy is known to be a bit less mature than his sister. One day they are visiting one of my other...
View ArticleFiring ‘Off’ An Answer
Home | MA, USA(I was too young to remember this story, but my family tells it often. When I was three, my aunt was staying with us. I ran downstairs only half dressed.) Aunt: “[My Name], where are your...
View ArticleA ‘Stiff’ Resolve To Get The Name Right
Home | Singapore(My parents are hosting a Chinese New Year gathering for the relatives on my dad’s side. I am not close to them, but I do know who they are. I also have an aunt who tends to put an ‘S’...
View ArticleSpidey-Senses Are A Little Off
Movie Theater | NC, USA(When the second Harry Potter movie comes out, I am nine years old and well-known for being terrified of spiders. My aunt sits next to me when we all go to see it, and...
View ArticleA Weird Purr-sonality
Home | Italy(We’re sitting at the dinner table when my cat jumps on my aunt’s lap, looking for cuddles.) Aunt: “Ohhh, how cute…” Uncle: “I do the same when I’m cuddling.” Mom: “Do you also make the...
View ArticleAvoid The Sword’s Point Innuendo
Home | USA(My family, including a few relatives that have come to visit, is having dinner. Most of my family is fairly naive, so can be a bit oblivious sometimes. At the moment, my grandmother is...
View ArticleMixed Message
Home | Allentown, PA, USA(We’ve got the extended family gathered at my mother’s house for the Fourth of July, including her two aunts who are sisters. Mom and the younger aunt are in the kitchen when...
View ArticleSmoked Through A Second Opinion
Home | AB, USA(My aunt has smoked all her life. Some years back she was getting winded climbing stairs so she went to see her doctor. When she next saw my mother, her sister:) Mother: “So, what did the...
View ArticleYou Aunt Pronouncing It Correctly
Home | OH, USA(I and a few other extended family members have all come together at my aunt’s house for dinner. Just as we’re all getting sit down at the table to pass the food, the phone rings, and my...
View ArticleLactose And Glucose And Gluten, Oh My!
Grocery Store | NC, USA(I’m at the grocery store when I bump into my great-aunt. It’s been a couple months since we last talked.) Great-Aunt: *gestures to the bread in my basket* “So, you’re still...
View ArticleSadly, Every Family Has An Uncle José
Restaurant | Phoenix, AZ, USA(I am at an Easter brunch with my family. Our waiter is a Hispanic man who introduces himself as David. A few minutes later, this happens:) Uncle: “Okay, José, we’re ready...
View ArticleWhen You Were A Kid You Were A Good Loser
Home | OR, USA(My aunt is visiting my mom. My aunt has an eight-year-old son and she’s discussing a recent event.) Aunt: “Yeah, so I turned around and [Son] was just GONE. I looked all over the store...
View ArticleThe Joke Is On You… Maybe
Home | Perth, WA, Australia(I and my aunt are watching a cop show. The plot is that the protagonists have to try and stop ISIS from acquiring American girls as brides using a modelling agency as a...
View ArticleShould Stop And Take Stock
Home | CT, USA(My uncle is showing a picture cube of old family photographs to his lady friend.) Uncle: “This is my father and his hunting dog. This is my old dog. This is [Cousin]. This is my sister’s...
View ArticleVegan Poop Cake
Home | IL, USA(We are sitting on the front steps watching my niece play on the lawn when my aunt comes out the front door. Earlier we had been discussing veganism.) Aunt: “There’s cake inside.”...
View ArticleDon’t Have A Cow, Mom
Farm | USA(My cousin has moved to property in a rural area. Not long after she moves, my grandmother stays with her for a few days. When she gets back she is gushing about the animals my cousin now...
View ArticleSmoking Kills
Bar | Derby, England, UK(We’re at the wake for my grandma, and I excuse myself for some “fresh air,” i.e. a cigarette. My cousin decides to come with me, and as I walk outside I light up…) Cousin:...
View ArticleLooks That Can Kill, Again
Home | UT, USA(My grandfather passed several years ago, leaving behind my grandmother and all their children. One uncle never comes to family occasions, but has come to support us at the funeral. My...
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